Quote of the Day (2015-02-28)

Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them. They need to know who you wish you were and they need to try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better to fall short of the fake you than the real you.

Source: Modern Family

Quote of the Day (2015-02-27)

Basil Fawlty: Manuel... my wife informs me that you're... depressed. Let me tell you something. Depression is a very bad thing. It's like a virus. If you don't stamp on it, it spreads throughout the mind, and then one day you wake up in the morning and you... you can't face life any more!

Sybil Fawlty: And then you open a hotel.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2015-02-26)

Stop marching. You're dancing, not invading Poland.

Source: Modern Family

Quote of the Day (2015-02-25)

Alvy Singer: I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.

Source: Annie Hall

Quote of the Day (2015-02-24)

How does she breast feed him if she doesn't let him near plastic?

Source: Modern Family

Quote of the Day (2015-02-23)

C: What's this thing?

"ROMANES EUNT DOMUS"?

"People called Romanes they go the house"?

B: It, it says "Romans go home".

C: No it doesn't. What's Latin for "Roman"?

B: (hesitates)

C: Come on, come on!

B: (uncertain) "ROMANUS".

C: Goes like?

B: "-ANUS".

C: Vocative plural of "-ANUS" is?

B: "-ANI".

C: "RO-MA-NI". "EUNT"? What is "EUNT"?

B: "Go".

C: Conjugate the verb "to go"!

B: "IRE". "EO", "IS", "IT", "IMUS", "ITIS", "EUNT".

C: So "EUNT" is ...?

B: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".

C: But "Romans, go home!" is an order, so you must use the ...?

(lifts Brian by his hairs)

B: The ... imperative.

C: Which is?

B: Ahm, oh, oh, "I", "I"!

C: How many romans? (pulls harder)

B: Plural, plural! "ITE".

C: (strikes over "EUNT" and paints "ITE" to the wall)

(satisfied) "I-TE".

"DOMUS"? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?

B: (very anxious) Dative?

C: (draws his sword and holds it to Brian's throat)

B: Ahh! No, ablative, ablative, sir. No, the, accusative, accusative,

ah, DOMUM, sir.

C: Except that "DOMUS" takes the ...?

B: ... the locative, sir!

C: Which is?

B: "DOMUM".

C: (satisfied) "DOMUM" (strikes out "DOMUS" and writes "DOMUM") "-MUM".

Understand?

B: Yes sir.

C: Now write it down a hundred times.

B: Yes sir, thank you sir, hail Caesar, sir.

C: (salutes) Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

B: (very reliefed) Oh thank you sir, thank you sir, hail Caesar and everything, sir!

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2015-02-22)

Señor Sanchez: I cannot understand. If I'm a married man, it is my problem. What has it got to do with you? I would not be prejudiced if you were married.

Source: Cactus Flower

Quote of the Day (2015-02-21)

I'll have what she's having.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2015-02-20)

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-02-19)

Homer: It's true, I'm a rageoholic! I just can't get enough RAGEOHOL!

[cries]

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2015-02-18)

Jim Hacker: "But you got me this job [local government]."

Sir Humphrey: "Yes, but I didn't expect you to do anything, I mean, you have never done anything before."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-02-17)

Marge: [to Bart] Now we have to find another school for you.

Homer: And if you get kicked out of that one, you're going straight in the army, where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2015-02-16)

Reggie Lampert: I already know an awful lot of people and until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.

Peter Joshua:Yes, of course. But you will let me know if anyone goes on the critical list.

Reggie Lampert: Quitter.

Source: Charade

Quote of the Day (2015-02-15)

Sally: And it's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplin had kids when he was 73.

Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2015-02-14)

I had my dream again, where I'm making love and the Olympic judges are watching. I've nailed the compulsories so this is it, the finals. I got a nine eight from the Canadian, a perfect ten from the ! American, and my mother disguised as a East German judge gave me a five six. Must've been the dismount.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2015-02-13)

Jim: Five standard excuses?

Sir Humphrey: Yes. First there's the excuse we used for instance in the Anthony Blunt case.

Jim: Which was?

Sir Humphrey: That there is a perfectly satisfactory explanation for everything, but security forbids its disclosure. Second, there is the excuse we used for comprehensive schools, that it has only gone wrong because of heavy cuts in staff and budget which have stretched supervisory resources beyond the limits.

Jim: But that's not true is it?

Sir Humphrey: No, but it's a good excuse. Then there's the excuse we used for Concorde, it was a worthwhile experiment, now abandoned, but not before it had provided much valuable data and considerable employment.

Jim: But that is true isn't it? Oh no, of course it isn't.

Sir Humphrey: The fourth, there's the excuse we used for the Munich agreement. It occurred before certain important facts were known, and couldn't happen again.

Jim: What important facts?

Sir Humphrey: Well, that Hitler wanted to conquer Europe.

Jim: I thought everybody knew that.

Sir Humphrey: Not the Foreign Office.

Jim: Five?

Sir Humphrey: Five, there's the Charge of the Light Brigade excuse. It was an unfortunate lapse by an individual which has now been dealt with under internal disciplinary procedures."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-02-12)

It's only a flesh wound.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-02-11)

[the golf lesson]

Norton: First, you address the ball... hello, ball.

Source: The Honeymooners

Quote of the Day (2015-02-10)

Lee: Hi, can I get Holly Golightly's room please?

Danny: Who's that?

Lee: It's Gwen's code name, it's from Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Danny: Oh, what's that?

Lee: It's a movie, a great movie, Hepburn.

Danny: Right, Katherine.

Lee: Do me a favor, don't tell anyone you're in the movies.

Source: America's Sweethearts

Quote of the Day (2015-02-09)

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

Narrator: So you can breath.

Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2015-02-08)

Tom: I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2015-02-07)

Miracle Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe

[smacks his lips]

Miracle Max: they're so perky, I love that.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2015-02-06)

Politicians' Logic: Something must be done, this is something, therefore it must be done.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-02-05)

Zathras: Zathras not of this time. You take, Zathras die. You leave, Zathras die. Either way, it is bad for Zathras.

Source: Babylon 5

Quote of the Day (2015-02-04)

Edmund Edwards: She's been through hell, and we're her family. So in this crisis, we have to support her.

Rose Schwartz: Yeah.

Edmund Edwards: We have to love her.

Rose Schwartz: Mmm.

Edmund Edwards: We have to care about her.

Rose Schwartz: Mmm.

Edmund Edwards: And we have to milk it for every drop of publicity we can get.

Source: Soapdish

Quote of the Day (2015-02-03)

Larry Lipton: You promised you'd sit through a hockey game, and I promised I'd sit through the Wagner opera next week.

Carol Lipton: I know, I know...

Larry Lipton: I already bought the earplugs.

Source: Manhattan Murder Mystery

Quote of the Day (2015-02-02)

And by the way, they're real, and they're spectacular

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-02-01)

Jerry: "I thought you said people dressed up when they go to the opera?"

Kramer: "People do. I don't."

Source: Seinfeld